The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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