playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You left your phone here
Wait...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
