also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize