Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
