I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
