Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
