Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
