Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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