Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
