so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
