And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
