get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
