Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
