Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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