Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
tell me about the eggs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
