It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
