Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
