My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
