He is an equal opportunity slut.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
