I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize