I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
