all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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