Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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