there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
