yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
