I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
