Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
