It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
