what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
