i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
