well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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