I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
