I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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