Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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