when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
