new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Found the puke drawer
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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