Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize