it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
