She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
