tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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