I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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