She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
