im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How external is "for external use only"?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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