Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
