We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
