The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize