Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
