I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
