He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
