We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize