He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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