all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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