VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
