what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
