the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
