just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
