i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize