Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
