Too much gin, very little bucket
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize