She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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