im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
