this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
