i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she pinky promised me she was 18
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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