how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I am available for nakedness
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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