What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
do nipples grow back?
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