Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
