we have officially lost it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
