I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
