i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
