Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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