Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Panties = found
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
