I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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