you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
