that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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