the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
