I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
