i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
