I need help removing her.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
