i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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