can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize