I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
false alarm. still invincible.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
