Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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