I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
