I seem to have left my pride at pride
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
